I like my body when it is with your body

While I've been on this path of Fat Acceptance for a while now, it's only in the past year that I realised that it was an actual movement and that others felt the same way. I've never really been the type of girl to complain about loud about what I thought was wrong with my body, even though I might have thought it at times. So my husband has probably never heard me say anything negative about my body.

When I met JD, when he was all of 18 years old, he weighed about 8 stone wet through, and was skinny. This was largely due to the fact that he walked everywhere - where he's from is very rural, and he didn't want to learn to drive. It sure as hell wasn't due to his diet, which, frankly, sucked. My mother and I taught him how to a) cook b) appreciate a wider range of stuff and c) to actually eat vegetables. Since he learnt to drive and got a desk job, he has put on weight. Plus, he's not 18 anymore. Personally, I couldn't care less - I think he's incredibly hot. (I could wax rhapsodical about his body, but I won't, but suffice to say: I think he's hot). About six months ago he started complaining that he felt fat, that he needed to lose weight, etc etc.

And I said nothing. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to do. But I didn't want to argue, and I also wasn't sure what positive things he would actually believe. Every time his mother sees him (once every two months at most) she tells him he's put on weight. I bite my tongue and think no, actually he hasn't. Not since last time you commented on it, anway. Maybe I should say something to her. Maybe those negative comments are hurting him much more than I realise? As an aside, what would you say? To him or to her?

A couple of months ago we finally had enough money for him to join my gym. Before we went on holiday he was going 5 nights a week. That's way more than I go - I average 2.5, probably. While we were away we ate healthily, we swam a ton and we walked quite far, so personally I don't feel like I'm any more unhealthy than before we went. But JD does. On Sunday, he started whinging at me about the gym and about how he was going to go "every night this week".

I asked why. Because he needs to get rid of his stomach, he said. Why, I asked. Because it's awful, he said. I like it, I said. I like everything about your body.

Yeah, he said. I like everything about yours. But you don't like yours.

Yes I do, I shrugged.

He looked at me like I'd just spoken Swahili to him. Really? he asked.

Yes, I said. I like my body.

Oh, he said. I just like mine when it's with yours.

I told him about the e. e. cummings line that I've put in the title of this post. I told him that I liked my body when it was with his for sure, but that I liked it independently, too.

I got dressed and watched him think about it.

I really hope my message can get through.